


never better

by nonbinaryezrabridger



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: M/M, thizzee is background pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22805236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinaryezrabridger/pseuds/nonbinaryezrabridger
Summary: Shaolin fantastic has a crush on his wordsmith. He's an alien, just like Dizzee. But unlike Dizzee, he's still hiding, still afraid. After all, how do you say you have a crush on your best friend?
Relationships: Marcus "Dizzee" Kipling/Thor, Shaolin Fantastic/Ezekiel "Zeke" Figuero
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	1. coming out

**Author's Note:**

> realized i haven't written anything purely shaozeke and had to fix that immediately! this is set in a wold where zeke and mylene are no longer together, and the get down brothers never broke up. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> tw for this chapter: none

\-------

Shao is perfectly in his element, digging through a dusty box of records as Zeke writes next to him. The wordsmith is sprawled out on the couch, all long legs, and Shao is definitely not looking. No, he’s focused on the slide of records between his fingers, comfortingly cold and slick. Zeke’s voice winds around him, a siren’s song of soft words. Shao is so entranced that he misses the question the first time. Zeke gently whacks him on the shoulder and says:

“Shao.”

Making Shao jump before focusing his attention on his wordsmith.

“What’s up, Books?”

Zeke grins at his name that Shao gave him and repeats his question:

“What do you think about Dizzee?”

Shao’s stomach does a flip. Dizzee had chosen to come out on his own, but there’s still the fear for him racing through Shao’s veins. Ever since he’d caught his alien brother with his white boy, Shao and Dizzee had bonded over their respective secrets. Dizzee would talk about Thor, and after some careful coaxing on Dizzee’s part, Shao would talk about Zeke. It was the only space he felt safe expressign what he really felt for his wordsmith. 

He shakes himself out of the thoughts to hear Zeke, his forehead wrinkled slightly, ask:

“You know anything about Thor?”

Shao hesitates. He’d gotten to know the man a little, even had him over to the temple once, but telling Zeke that feels like an admission, so instead he says:

“Naw, just that we see him at shows.”

Zeke looks relieved.

“Yeah. I mean Dizzee told us that they are...”

He searches for a word, then gives up, which is unusual for the wordsmith:

“I just don’t know the guy, how am I supposed to like him being around my brother?”

Shao knows thor would never purposely hurt Dizzee, the man practically worships Dizzee, you can see it in his eyes. Dizzee gets the same look when he’s around Thor. Still, Zeke’s concern makes sense. He’s being a good, protective brother.

“Man, don’t worry too much. But you can ask Dizzee if he’d bring Thor around more often?”

It’s offered tentatively, but that makes Zeke smile broadly and Shao smiles too, loving that look on his wordsmiths face. 

“That’s good, Shao.”

Shao just nods, feeling overwhelmed by having Zeke sunshine smile pointed at him. 

There’s a long silence, so long Shao is just about to go back to sorting records when Zeke speaks again, slowly, hesitatingly, a tone to his voice that Shao’s never heard before.

“But..”

Shao feels uneasy, feels something heavy hanging in the air. Still, he wants to know what Zeke’s gonna say, so he says:

“Spit it out, Books.”

Zeke suddenly looks up, through his long lashes, his eyes burning into Shao, more intense than they’ve ever been. Shao quails, but feels frozen in place. He realizes he likes the way Books is looking at him, and that only makes him more afraid. Zeke whispers:

“If Dizzee is like that, then anyone could be.”

Shao swallows, only getting more nervous. Could Zeke know? Had Shao done something to tip him off? He thought he’d been hiding it well, but maybe he’d fucked up. Oh no, what is he going to do? What can he say to defend himself? Before he can squeak out a reply, Zeke continues:

“You could be like that.”

Shao’s heart breaks. Zeke knows, he’s found out somehow, and now he’s gonna hate him.

Zeke is moving towards him, his steps purposeful, and Shao stays frozen as his wordsmith approaches. When they’re almost face to face, Shao feels the usual thrill of being close to him, but this time it’s mixed with dread. Zeke raises a hand, slowly, and Shao flinches away, expecting a slap.

When he looks back, Zeke's hand has stopped and his dark eyes are spilling over with sadness, something deep and aching.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Shao.”

Shao gasps for air, overwhelmed. Zeke has to be lying, why else would he be so close? No one’s ever gotten this close without wanting something from him, why would Zeke be any different? 

But Zeke is Zeke, gentle, tender hearted. Zeke is Books, Shao’s closest friend, his wordsmith. Zeke wouldn't do that, would he? 

Shao is so confused.

Zeke's hand is still hovering in the air, so much potential in the delicate fingers, so much tension hanging in the air.

Shao finally breaks the silence to snarl,

“Do what you’re gonna do, man.”

If the storm is coming, he just wants it to hit. He just wants Zeke to say something, even if that’s something hateful. 

Zeke only looks sadder.

“I was gonna ask you first.”

Shao can’t figure out what that means.

“What?”

Zeke smiles weakly.

“That’s what you’re supposed to do before you touch someone, Shao.”

That only confuses Shao further. First of all why does Zeke want to touch him? Second of all why bother asking him about it? All he can do is ask again:

“What?”

Zeke laughs.

“I don’t mean to confuse you, Shao. Can I touch your face?”

Shao shakes his head, trying to clear it, confused as hell. But what does he have to lose by saying yes?

“Sure.”

Zeke grins at him, his eyes turning from sad to soft. Shao finds himself shaking, unsure what’s about to happen but wanting it to be good.

Zeke's hand that has been hovering finally moved again, slowly enough to give Shao time to turn away, before cupping his cheek, his palm soft against Shao’s beard. Shao feels his eyes go wide. It’s not like he’s never been touched, but this is so different from Annie or the others, for many reasons.

First of all Zeke is a man, which is hard to forget. Second of all Zeke is his friend, his wordsmith, his brother till the end of the world. Doesn’t that exclude doing things like touching him this tenderly? 

Still, it’s not like Shao has never thought about this. There’s definitely been some late nights where he’d imagined Zeke's hands on him, but he’d usually slapped those thoughts down. Now it’s actually happening and he doesn’t know what to do. So finally he settles on asking:

“What the hell are you doing, man?”

Zeke smiles wider at that, his dark eyes dancing.

“I was hoping I could kiss you.”

Shao jerks are that, his whole body leaning in closer before pulling away. He wants to fall into Zeke's arms but he won’t let himself. Instead he stares wide eyed at his wordsmith, trying to process.

Zeke is offering to kiss him. 

Right now.

No talk about Mylene, his butterscotch queen, cry when she sing, always there Mylene. Just Zeke and Shao, standing together in the temple, interconnected by Zeke's fingers brushing against Shao’s cheek.

And Shao has to make a decision. 

“Yes.”

It’s out of his mouth before he really thinks about it, but he can’t bring himself to regret it. No, he wants this with his whole heart, has wanted it for a long time. Maybe as long as he’s known Zeke. 

Zeke smiles that dopey smile of his before leaning in. Shao lets his eyes flutter shut and then they’re kissing. Zeke's lips are slightly chapped but still soft, and he kisses gently, as if he’s worried Shao’s will break. Shao’s been kissed before, but never like this, never with such tenderness and pure love. 

It makes him feel like there’s fireworks going off, filling the room with bright sparks. He feels like he could grow wings and take flight, go spinning through the air like his pigeons. It’s everything he didn’t dare to expect. 

Shao pulls away first, feeling too overwhelmed to keep going. Zeke smiles at him gently before reaching out to entangle their hands. Shao finds himself holding on as if Zeke will disappear if he lets go. They stand for a long moment, just enjoying each other’s closeness, until Shao asks:

“Are we like Dizzee and Thor now?”

Zeke smiles again at the question, his eyes still intense, filled with that emotion that Shao now realizes is love for him. 

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

Shao feels like his world has expanded, like everything suddenly makes sense, with his wordsmith at his side, holding his hand. He feels himself grinning, but can’t make himself stop.

He makes a split second decision and pulls on Zeke’s hand, tugging him towards one of the couches in the dojo. Zeke goes willingly and doesn’t question as Shao pushes him down on the seat. Shao takes a seat next to him and, after a moment of hesitation, leans against Zeke and puts his head on his shoulder. Their interlocked hands rest on their thighs, pressed together. Shao feels like he’s burning, feeling Zeke’s warmth where their sides are touching. Yet it feels perfectly right, as if this is what he’s been missing.

Zeke asks:

“You good?”

Shao smiles up at him and when he says it he means it:

“Never better, B.”

\---------


	2. sunlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zeke's pov this time! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> No tw for this chapter

\---------

Zeke sits at the table in the kitchen of the temple, a room he’s rarely been in before, but he’s become privy to some of Shao’s private rituals. One of those is eating breakfast after waking up on the mattress laid out in the back room of the temple. It’s still new, waking up with Shao curled into him, their legs tangled together and Shao’s head on his shoulder. Even newer is this breakfast thing. The domesticity of it strikes Zeke, making him feel like he’s overflowing with love. Just watching Shao stir a bowl of oatmeal at the counter makes butterflies fill zeke’s stomach. 

He’s absolutely, head over heels, never come up, drowning, in love.

Shao turns, the light glimmering in his dark eyes, and looks at zeke. He grins his crooked grin as he looks at zeke, before settling down at the table across from him and saying:

“You’re looking at me that way again.”

Zeke shakes himself out of his lovestruck daze and asks:

“What way?”

“Like you gonna burst into song or some sappy shit.”

Zeke laughs; he feels like he could, if he wanted to. Still, he knows a better way to express his feelings.

“Naw, I'll just write you another verse.”

Shao looks shocked for a moment, before his expression transitions to something vulnerable, almost afraid. Zeke bites his lip, knowing Shao isn’t that comfortable with sincere affection yet. Still, Zeke isn’t quite sure what to do.

Shao sighs, stirs his oatmeal, looks up and finally meets Zeke’s eyes.

“Sounds good, man.”

Zeke grins at the acceptance of the affection; that’s progress!

They sit quietly as Shao eats, Shao focused on the food and Zeke focused on him. 

He’s supposed to be a wordsmith, words sweet as honey, smooth as oil, never stopping their spin. But when he looks at Shao, all the words fall away. Nothing seems to be enough to express the way he feels about Shao. In some ways, trying to write it down feels like cheapening it. Maybe it’s something that needs to fly free, soaring on the air currents in the blue of the summer sky. He can write verses praising his DJ, but never fully expressing their love. That’s okay; he doesn’t need anyone else to know about them. Just having Shao here, in secret, in their temple, is enough.

It’s enough. 

More than enough.

It’s perfect.

His fingers inch across the table and he hums questioningly, to which Shao looks up and nods, linking their hands together, interlocking their fingers. Zeke sighs, drinking up the affection. The sunlight leaps through the window, falling across the pair and covering them in warmth. Zeke closes his eyes and just lets himself be. 

\--------------


	3. struggles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter gets a little heavier, but I felt the need to address shao's trauma. if any of the warnings are triggering to you, feel free to skip this chapter, you won't miss anything essential 
> 
> tw: discussion of sexual abuse (nothing explicit), ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks

\--------------

They’re in the temple, meaning to practice, but it’s devolved into a make out session. Zeke has a tight grip on Shao’s hips and his tongue is exploring Shao’s mouth. Shao feels overheated, desperate, like he’s been flayed down to the bone by the affection. Zeke is so gentle, so soft, everything Shao didn’t think to dream of.

(So different from her grasping hands, no, don’t think about it—)

Zeke moves one hand up from Shao’s hips to clutch at his shirt, then pushes gently. Shao takes the hint and steps back, not breaking the kiss, only to find that the back of his shins hit the couch behind them. He must jump in surprise because books pulls away, asking breathlessly:

“You okay?”

Shao struggles to breathe too, wanting Zeke's lips back on him, but says:

“Yeah.”

Zeke grins at him, all sunshine, so warm and bright Shao wonders how he hasn’t gone blind looking at him. Then the wordsmiths asks:

“You want to lay down?”

What Shao really wants is more kisses, but he’s curious where Books is going, so he nods and lies down on the couch, an arm behind his head.

Zeke steps forwards and says:

“I’m gonna join you, okay?”

Shao is a bit frustrated how careful Zeke is, just wanting Books to get to the good part, but he also appreciates it. It makes him feel less like he’s with Annie, less like a prey animal cowering under the claws of a predator. Less like he’s going to be grabbed and used.

So he just says:

“Yeah, come on, B.”

Books moves flowingly and suddenly he’s on top of Shao, straddling him, and Shao’s breath catches.

It's not bad, just disorienting. Books is so different from anyone before, he makes Shao feel like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Shao doesn’t like feeling unprepared for a situation. But he pushes down the discomfort in his stomach and leans up to kiss Zeke. 

Zeke kisses back and they just kiss for a long moment, before Zeke's asks again: "Is it okay if I touch your chest?" Shao nods and Zeke begins to run his hands down Shao's chest. It’s nothing new, but that combined with having Books body above him suddenly feels like too much, like the world is closing in on him. Like he’s trapped.

Suddenly the hands on him aren’t Zeke’s, with the calloused palms and gentle fingers. Instead they’re Annie’s, clutching at him, never letting him go. He gasps into the kiss, a fearful whine rising in his chest, and Books pulls away instantly. Zeke raises his hands away and pushes himself up, so there’s space between their bodies. 

He’s looking at Shao with concern, and he asks:

“Shao, are you okay?”

Shao feels frozen, unable to speak, and he’s started to shake. Even with Zeke's hands gone, he could swear he feels hands touching him. He wants to run his hands over himself, just to make sure there’s nothing on him, but he can’t move. His breathing has gone ragged, and even with the deep gasps he’s taking in, it doesn’t feel like enough air.

Zeke throws a leg over Shao, getting off of him, off the couch entirely, crouching by Shao’s head instead. His hands stay far away, but his eyes are intense and locked on Shao. Shao doesn’t want to look at him, shame filling him, so he looks down at the red fabric of the couch instead. 

Finally Zeke breaks the silence, his voice low and even as he speaks:

“Shao, it’s okay.”

Shao groans, fingers curling into claws, his fear turning to anger at himself. Why can’t he just be normal? Why is he acting like this, like some sort of weak bitch? He’s shaolin fantastic! 

But it doesn’t help. He just keeps shaking and gasping. Zeke continues:

“You’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you. I’m not going to touch you, Shao, I promise.”

Shao listens to his words, even though it’s hard. Normally he wouldn’t trust someone who says he’s safe—-he doesn’t feel safe—-but this is Books. Books hasn’t broken a promise yet. Slowly, Shaolin starts to calm, his breaths slowing and the shaking lessening. 

He relaxes his grip on the couch and tries to roll the stress from his shoulders, happy when his body obeys the order and moves, rather than being frozen. He finally turns to look at Zeke, seeing the concern in his beautiful eyes. 

He mutters:

“I’m okay.”

He doesn’t really mean he’s okay overall, he still feels angry at himself for being so damn broken, but the fit seems to have passed. He can move and speak again. Zeke smiles and says gently:

“I’m glad.”

Shao wants to reach out and take Zeke's hand, but the thought of contact right now makes him want to throw up. So he simply settles for saying:

“I love you.”

Zeke grins wider and replies:

“I love you too, Shao.”

They sit there together til the sun goes down, just being in each other’s company, and Shao begins to feel better. Maybe this is where he’s meant to be. Maybe he can heal from being broken. Maybe he can be loved. 

He still has a long way to go, but for the first time in a long time, he feels hopeful. 

\----------


	4. free people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably add more chapters to this later but for now I'm marking it as complete.
> 
> no tw for this chapter

\-------

Dizzee and Thor lead the way down the trash strewn sidewalk, passing brick buildings pulsing with the heavy bass of music. Much like Thor and Dizzee, Shao and Zeke don’t touch as they walk. Outside of the temple, affection isn’t safe. But they’re soon to reach the promised land.

Thor pulls open the door, holding it for them as they enter. Dizzee pushes through a sheet of plastic, entering a red tinted entryway. A broad shouldered black man leans against the wall, watching them with hawk like eyes, but nods at Dizzee and Thor, letting them pass. As they walk up a stairwell, the music gets louder, the sweet sound of someone singing joining the bass. Shao isn’t a fan of this wackness, but he’ll suffer through it in order to be in a public space where, Dizzee and Thor have promised, it’s safe to be himself and hold Zeke’s hand. Dizzee had laughed and said:

“Maybe you’ll even make some friends!”

Shao is doubtful, but he’s trying it. The stairwell ends and suddenly they’re entering a riot of color. Lights flash on a stage and glitter on the flashy outfits of a large crowd. They're jumping and dancing to the music, someone on the stage doing complicated movements to the music. Voguing, he remembers Dizzee saying. He turns to look at his alien brother who is smiling widely, skin stained pink by the lights. Shao looks down and he’s pink too. It makes a strange sensation rise in his stomach, a mixture of apprehension and excitement.

Thor speaks up, shouting over the music, saying:

“Do you want to dance?”

Shao looks at Zeke and sees that neither of them are enthused with that idea. Zeke speaks up:

“No, I don't think so. Thanks for offering though.”

Thor nods and and Dizzee pipes up:

“If you want to just sit and smoke, there’s sections over there.”

He gestures to booths along the wall, and Shao nods thankfully. He wants to get away from the press of people. He reaches out to take Zeke's hand and pulls him toward the closet booth. Thor and Dizzee disappear into the crowd, going to dance. Shao and Zeke reach the booth, finding it’s got red leather upholstered seats and a small table for drinks. Shao slides into one side and Zeke takes the other. They just sit for a moment, staring out across the dancing crowd.

It’s an ocean of people, roiling with raucous movement. Near them, a trio of people grind on each other, hips moving to the music. In the booth next to them, a pair of men are holding hands, occasionally leaning in to kiss softly. A woman laughs nearby, holding up a colorful, fruity drink, estatically dancing to the music. Shao feels overwhelmed, but he wants to join in as well. He turns back to Zeke, feeling his lips pull up into a smile. He asks:

“What do you think, Books?”  
Zeke grins, eyes shining with colorful reflected light, and replies slowly:

“It’s...a lot. But I think I like it?”

Shao hums, agreeing, and decides to make his move. He slides over in the booth, until they’re side to side, and puts an arm around Zeke’s shoulders. Books smiles down at him and leans in to kiss him. A cough brings them out of it, Shao flinching when he realizes someone is watching them, his mind screaming that they’ve been found out. What if the club isn’t as safe as Dizzee thinks it is?

Then he takes a better look at the person, who has a slight build and tan skin, wearing a full suit and a bowtie. Their hair is slicked back and they are barefaced, in contrast to the heavily made up crowd around them. They’re smiling, not looking threatening or angry at all, and Shao relaxes slightly. The person stands for a moment, almost expectantly, before asking:

“Y’all want some drinks?”

Shao has to control the urge to tell them to fuck off. He doesn't like his time with Zeke being interrupted. Zeke however, doesn’t seem to mind and smiles at the person.

“Sure. You a waiter?”

The person grins, looking amused. 

“Nope! We’ll have to go to the bar for drinks. I’m just your friendly neighborhood butch. I like to welcome newcomers.”

Shao frowns.

“How’d you know?”

The person smiles wider.

“You’ve got that look. Wide eyed, little bit scared, little bit overwhelmed. I was like you not long ago. ”

They lean in to whisper:

“Don’t worry, you’ll adjust quickly.”

Shao, as ticked off as he is that they’re so obviously confused, can’t help but feel comforted. Zeke pulls away from him and stands, asking the person:

“Shall we?”

Shao moves to follow, but Zeke leans over to kiss him and says:

“I’ll get you something, don’t get up.”

Shao grins at that; Zeke’s love language is getting more obvious by the day. He settles back in as Zeke and the as of yet unnamed person disappear into the crowd.

Shao is sitting alone for a few moments, but then Dizzee and Thor come diving out of the crowd, flushed with exertion, and join him. They squish into the small booth, Dizzee pressing up against Shao in the tight space. Shao smiles at his friends and asks:

“Have fun?”

Dizzee nods and says:

“The phoenix is aflame tonight. We are but it’s feathers, dropping in an immolating molt. We will be reborn, as it is.”

Thor nods as if that makes sense. Shao just laughs. 

“Whatever you say, brother.”

Dizzee smiles at him, eyes affectionate, and asks:

“Where’s Zeke?”

“With someone, called themself butch and offered to buy us drinks.”

Dizzee nods.

“Ah, you’ve met Tammy. She’s real sweet.”

As he says so, Shao sees her break through the crowd, a pair of drinks in her hands. Zeke follows, holding one. Zeke joins them in the booth, pressed up against Shao with one of his legs hanging off the edge, but seems content. Tammy stands, taking a sip of her drink while handing one to Shao. He doesn’t know what it is but he trusts Zeke’s judgment, so he takes a sip to find the pleasant burn of vodka, mixed with the tang of orange juice. He takes a couple more sips before saying:

“Thanks for the drink, Tammy.”

The woman smiles her bright smile again.

“Any time, Shaolin Fantastic.” 

Shao’s eyes widen.

“You know me?”

Tammy nods.

“I don’t run in your circles, but my wife does. She’s a big fan.”

Shao can’t help but smile.

“Tell her hello from me.”

Tammy grins excitedly.

“I will. She’ll be overjoyed to hear I met you! But I gotta get going, some friends are waiting for me.”

Zeke waves and they all chorus a goodbye. Tammy swaggers off into the crowd, looking like she belongs there. Shao watches her go, still surprised by her openness and friendliness. Then he turns back to Zeke, Dizzee and Thor. Dizzee is grinning and says:

“Told you.”

Shao mutters:

“Yeah man.”

But his attention quickly returns to Zeke, who’s smiling, brighter than even the lights playing across his skin. He reaches out to take his hand and they sit squished together in the small booth, happy just to bask in each other’s warmth and watch the crowd. Dizzee and Thor go back to dancing, leaving them alone. Shao leans harder into Zeke, letting his head rest on the wordsmith’s shoulder. They just sit, music pumping around them, lights spilling across the booth. They’re covered in a rainbow of color, and Shao feels perfectly content. He feels like, just maybe, they’ve found their place. Their place is at each other’s sides, as they always have been. 

\--------


End file.
